WOMEN AT THE WELL WEDNESDAYS

Reflecting back on this past year truly has me in awe. Awe of my life.... Awe of my Savior. First I must share with you how and why the year 2011 changed my life more than any other.

Let me take you to the beginning. Nine years ago I met my husband Micah Benjamin Beck on Emerald Isle in the Outer banks of North Carolina. I was there with my roommate we had just graduated college it was fourth of July weekend and we wanted desperately to get out of Binghamton NY! So off we drove through the night to get to the ocean, to get to somewhere different, somewhere that God had already put the love of my life, the man that I would marry…. my best friend. He was a Marine and I was a college graduate with no future plans just trying to find my way, just searching for so much more. And there he was, on a sand tiki beach dance floor all adorable with his sun kissed skin and spiked high and tight hair. When I laugh I snort and that’s all it took. He drove to Binghamton every weekend he was on leave to see me and some weekends I would go back with him to my most favorite spot ever the outer banks. When we would walk the beach at night I would tell him I close I felt to God when I was with him, having not a clue the type of family he came from. Looking back on all of this God’s perfect orchestration is amazing on how he brought us together.

There was no way I was going to let him go to Kansas without me. SO I left. I left everything I had ever known my family my friends all of it to follow Micah back to his home in Kansas. This is why my mother-in-law calls me her “Ruth”. Kansas changed my life. Micah was raised by two of the most amazing Christian people I have ever met and I am blessed to have them for my father-in-law and mother-in-law. God brought me to Kansas to bring me back to him. He was preparing me for what was and is to come.  It was in Kansas that we had our first three children Isaiah, Elijah, and Sofiah. During my pregnancy with Sofiah  it was time for another major change. We bought a house Sold a house had a baby and moved across country all in one year. Sofiah was 3 months old when we moved back to NY. Two and a half hours closer to my parents.

I know that there is a lot of “in between” that I am leaving out but I really want share how God used something to tragic and terrible and made it into something so much more. I feel that life is tough enough as it is. It’s even tougher when we’re headed in the wrong direction. I had felt for a long time that God was trying to get Micah’s attention.  So, I would pray. I would pray that God would get ahold of Micah. It seemed like every time Micah would start walking with God the devil was right there dragging him back. It was and still is a battle.

On January 3, 2011 I watched  as our Pastor pulls out of my drive way at 5am to drive my husband to jail. A county jail that was located three hours from where we live. A county Jail that will change the man that just left me. My best friend the love of my life is gone he’s gone for four months. HOW this CAN this happen.  It  isn’t fair this is not what I prayed for. How am I going to take care of three kids and one in my belly? WHY GOD WHY? We did everything we could to fight the system to plea out the jail sentence. Micah had an unregistered hand gun… it was registered in Kansas but not in NY. It was in our jeep and he was showing it to a friend it was loaded and it fired …no one was hurt it could have been so much worse.  He didn’t hurt anyone- this is crazy there are so many bad people walking the streets that should be behind bars. Not Micah. But there they left drove out to route 30 and were gone. God was telling me NO… God was telling me that He knew what he was doing and that I didn’t have to understand it. When God doesn’t do what we want. It’s not easy. Never has been. Never will be. But faith is the conviction that God knows more than we do about this life and he will get us through it. Wow did he ever get us through it. He got us through it and so much more. See I just wanted it fixed I didn’t want my husband to go away to Jail for four months. There are times when the one thing you want is the one thing you never get. All you want is an open door or an extra day or an answered prayer, for which you will be thankful.  But When God says no, it’s a crazy unexplainable feeling because you have to trust in him and believe that he’s got a much bigger plana much bigger answer. You know the storms of life the kind where you question God asking him if he knows what he’s doing.  Why won’t he get us out of this? Why is he allowing this to happen?He said NO but with that came “My grace is enough” and it’s because of his Grace that we survived those four months alone with the help of some amazing family and friends but ultimately because HIS GRACE IS ENOUGH.

In those four months Micah was transformed/refined his soul was restored. It made us appreciate the life we have our children and each other including our newest blessing Judah- who made  his grand appearance July 14, 2011.  This is a new year full of forgiveness, and do-overs and second chances. When the storm comes and you know it will…. anchor deep and hold on to that cross. “Base your happiness on your hope in Christ. When trials come endure them patiently; steadfastly maintain the habit of prayer.” (ROM. 12:12)

-Danielle Beck