PB Twix And All Things Ted

Yesterday my daughter and I were out on a coupon run to our local gas station to get the Sunday paper.  As we were there, I told her that she could grab a treat. She grabbed some candy for her brothers and herself and asked me if I wanted anything. I really didn't as I have been working hard at my no junk lifestyle. As I was about to say no, I glanced down and saw a PB Twix bar.  I smiled and grabbed it as if I was a little girl again and my Grandpa was buying me candy.

As a child, I would go out with my Mother and Grandpa and family to a local restaurant/bar which always seemed to have PB Twix on hand. I remember him teaching me to play pool and buying me a PB Twix bars.  At the time it was just a candy bar but now, twenty plus years later it is so much more.  My Grandpa was an excellent man.  He was well liked by everyone that knew him and his work ethic was one that I admired and thankful that was instilled in every one of his children as examples for us his grandkids.  His tragic passing didnt only take this wonderful man from this earth but it also took a little bit of each of us (his family) with him.

As the days and years have marched on I have so desperately held onto the memories I have of him. Almost fighting to keep that place in my heart locked off and protected so that I wouldn't lose him again.  As I age, my memory fades. I struggle to remember each moment spent with him. I am thankful that his voice is still so embedded in my heart that I can still hear his last words ever spoken to me, I love you honey.

After a recent conversation with my sister, who was just two when he passed, asked what he was like.  My heart swelling with emotion, I tried to explain using our Uncles and Mother as an example.

After giving it some more thought, I realize that who he was lives on perfectly characterized in his children.

My Uncle Fred- In the way that he cares for the ENTIRE family even when it seems he is going against the current
My Mother- In the way she is no nonsense and fair
My Aunt Lynn- In the way she is loved by whoever that knows her
My Uncle Teddy- In the way he goes out and achieves his goals no matter what obstacles are in front of him
My Aunt Tara- In the way she pursues excellence in all she does
My Uncle Shawn- In the way he serves others including our country, demonstrating true honor and respect
My Aunt Shannon- In the way she is dedicated to her family

They all embody his love, his strength and his character--- and his stubbornness (lol). Each of them has been well equipped to represent him. I sometimes imagine him looking down from heaven and smiling knowing that of all the things he built, his children are by far the Pièce de résistance.  

These past few years I have had the best and most challenging times. I have thought of how many things would be different if he were here.  Some of the nonsense that happens would not even be an issue.  For several years I have honestly felt cheated, that it was not his time to go. At the end of the day, I know that God is in control and His timing is not my business.  While I have struggled more than most know with his passing, I know that most of it was out of the desire to have him here, selfishly. To talk to, to fix things when I am sad, to meet all of his grandchildren and great grandchildren.

 As I glanced this morning at the PB Twix bar I realized that I do not have to hold on so tightly anymore. I choose to have peace.  I can cherish my memories of him but also that I can live with his amazing legacy of life and love that are alive in his children...and me too! 


To my family reading this, please know how much you are loved, admired and respected by me (even if I dont get to see you much, [Uncle Shawn]).  Thank you for carrying on with your lives pursuing the kind of excellence that he embodied. I have been watching for years.  I LOVE YOU.  




Be blessed wildly, 
Wendy xo