Colleen Cornell

For the first "Women at the Well Wednesday" of 2012, I asked Colleen Cornell for an interview.  Colleen has been a dear friend, who also sometimes served as my other Momma as a child.   Her story is one of hope and strength.  Thank you Colleen for sharing your story with all of us. Love you!
Be blessed wildy,
Wendy xoxoxoxo




                                                      J2E:It is a New Year, do you set resolutions?  If yes, are your resolutions different now then they were when you were raising your children? 


Colleen: I have always made an effort to make New Years Resolutions.  It just seemed that when a new year approached it was so easy to look at the first of the year and view it as a cleaned chalkboard..already to be marked up.  As my kids were younger my goals were either to have more family time and less work time, eat healthier and lose weight etc.. None of the above ever were accomplished with any sense of self satisfaction for many years. I took my life and health for granted back then.  New Years day 2011 was the first New Years Day that I made a resolution that I am proud to say 365 days later have kept.  My entire outlook on 1/1/2011 was more complete inside for me. Every day I was given as a Cancer Survivor I prayed that God would help me to open my eyes to all the beauty and experiences he places around me every day.  My resolution was that once given this gift of deep understanding I would use it to help inspire others to learn how to value life in general.  I still have some days where I wish the charted waters ran a little smoother, but this is my journey and sometimes if I falter, God puts me right back on track. Resolution for 2012 is to continue my journey with my inherited family and my church family by my side.  It is good and I am inspired.

J2E: What is the best part about being a Grandma?  

Colleen: Oh gosh..everything is so great about being a grandma! However, when I first became one at age 36 I was more or less not prepared for why  God choose this for my family. A beautiful little boy would come to be part of the glue that is holding my life together almost 17 years later.  About 4 years later my one and only grandaughter would make her grand entrance and the grandness of her dimeanor still keeps me on my toes.  The little guys age 4 and 5 are just the icing on the cake.  After now having 4 grandchildren in over 17 years I can say that the best part is just being able to have been a grandmother and knowing what it feels like to spoil, love, watch them grow and become amazing young adults..it is like being privledged to know part of the legacy that I will leave behind...Again another gift from God.

J2E: Alot of our readers are Moms in the thick of raising kids, frazzled, looking for balance, figuring out households, schedules, etc. Do you have any advice or voice of reason to offer having successfully raising three children of your own? 

Colleen: Life and society are so different today for the younger generation.  I almost hate giving advice on how to raise kids as I am sure I did things differently than my mom and dad did to raise me. One thing that remains constant in my family is that we were all raised to love and know about God.  Raising the kids when they were little seemed so exhausting to me at the time, but little did I know that this was just preparing me for the endurance race through the teenage years where I faced adversity on some of my decisions and on others I soon learned that I am not designed to be my teenagers friend.  I am his/her parent first and I would do anything to support them as long as they take responsibility for their actions.  I know for most of my child raising years I listened to my heart to guide me and tried not to be swayed by what the others felt I should do.  I think our children are a gift from God. They are not ours to keep, they are ours to raise to adulthood and then to let go and hopefully God will look down and say "job well done."

J2E: What is your favorite color? 

Colleen: lilac..purple....I love purple.

J2E: What is your favorite food?  

Colleen: Lemon Cake, Jubilee Jumbles, Prime Rib, Crab Legs, Chocolate anything, etc. etc. I love the good 

stuff!

J2E: What is your favorite song? 

Colleen: I have a couple, but one that is near and dear to me is of course Amazing Grace.  I also love "Somewhere over the Rainbow" by Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo. I had an old friend years ago write a song about me. It is now recorded but that will to this day remain private. <3

J2E: When did you come to learn who Jesus was? 

Colleen:When I was little before I made my first communion, I remember learning all the stages of the cross that Jesus went through up to his death and resurrection. I knew he stood for love even when I was small.

J2E: What is your favorite childhood memory?

Colleen: Riding on my grandpa Mittler's lap while he drove the tractor around the land and would let me steer.  I loved my grandpa Mittler..he told me that the little blonde fairy that danced before all the Disney 

Movies was me.  My nickname from him was Colly-Berg. Not sure why but that was me.

J2E: Can you share any part of your journey after being diagnosed with cancer?

Colleen: It was June 3, 2010 and all 3 of my adult grown children were in the pre-op area in Albany Medical Center.  I knew I must have been special because they are very strict at letting only 1 support person in the pre-op area but after I said I would not choose one over the other to sit with me, they let all 3 of them in.  It was then at that moment looking at all 3 of them and seeing the worry they were trying so desperately to hide from me that I realized I was never going to make this journey alone.  It was then that I felt that God was more real to me at that moment than he had ever been in my 53 years on this earth.  He perfectly showed me the reason I need to fight and that he would be the one to walk in the OR along side me.  I was not to be cured that day as my tumors are inoperable, but I was healed by his everlasting love that I felt surround my kids and I.  No matter how my journey ends..it will be how God wanted it to and I accept that.

J2E: What defines you?

Colleen: Wow this is a deep one.  I would have to say that my children truly define me.  They are all so very different and yet they are strong in many different ways.  I hope their ability to accept people for who they are is a gift that I have passed down to them. I am their mom, role model, boo-boo healer, shoulder to cry on, one to hold hands with during a bad time, hugger, kisser, but most of all what I wanted all along was to be their definition of strength to carry on no matter how hard things may seem.

I would love for them to understand that leaning on God during bad times is an inner strength and a legacy I would say my mom passed on to me. Letting God carry you can be humbling and at the same time the deepest love I have ever experienced.  I think Strength defines me best.

J2E: What does your perfect day look like?

Colleen: Any day that I get another chance to show God how grateful I am that he loves me.  A day that I walk out of the doctors office with hope and compassion for others less fortunate than I am.  Any day that I can teach someone to love themselves as much as God loves us.  Perfect Days are everyday!

J2E: What is the one lesson you want to teach your grandkids and and why?

Colleen:I would love my grandchildren to understand how important family is to me. Respect, honor and love of your family members is typically an easy thing when you are little (at least it was for me.).  Loving those that at times seem unlovable will be one of the bigger tests of your heart.  It can be done by letting God guide you with all the tough decisions in your life.  Stay true to yourself and do not let anyone change the spirited person you are inside.  Take pride in all you do, say and add to this world and remember that your grandmother's love you will always carry in your heart for the rest of your lives.