Hello Journeyers! Grab your coffee with almond joy creamer, your Venti chai tea latte (nonfat no water, please), your Shakeology, maybe its a Monster....whatever it is you drink while passing time away on the world wide web and sit, chat with me a moment, won't you? Now I know, it is Ezer Friday or picture sharing day... and I am breaking the rules. In reality its about 1 am and I am here, wide awake pecking at my keys feverishly to get this out to you. I haven't been very faithful with Ezer Fridays for awhile anyhow… mostly because I have been without constant internet.
So... I want to talk about Doubting Thomas The bible gives the account of Thomas being told that Jesus had risen from the dead and he didn’t believe that his fellow disciples had seen Jesus. He was like (and I am paraphrasing here but basically) 'I am not buying it until I see the holes in Jesus hands and side.' So a week later, all the disciples were gathered again in a house and all the doors were locked. Jesus enters anyways! He comes over to Thomas and has his touch the holes in his hands and his side. See, John 20: 24-29. Thomas didn’t believe, he had been a disciple and had seen Jesus perform miracles and he still had his doubts. Seeing is believing in this world. We want hard, beyond a reasonable doubt evidence for everything. I love the story of Thomas and I am sharing it because despite his physical closeness to Jesus before he went to the cross, Thomas still had doubts. It makes me feel better that I am not the only one that struggles with unbelief at times. Although, I do not struggle with my belief in Jesus I sometimes had struggled with believing that God will show up when I need it, or that he deems me worthy enough to even show up.
All of that is behind me now.
My story doesn’t include Jesus coming in my locked room and showing me his scars so I would believe. Instead He sent obedient disciples at just the right time. I am not writing this to put them on blast but because I think its very important that we listen to the nudges, our gut, whatever it is that says do this… (I believe that’s God) because it could be life changing for someone as it was for me.
A few months ago I left, no ran out of what was my own personal Egypt. For protection of all parties involved, I won’t disclose any details; just that it was the most oppressive thing I have ever walked through. A year prior I was told that God was telling me to have courage. I wasn’t sure what that looked like until I was facing homelessness-literally. All of my belongings for my five children and I now fit in four laundry baskets. I did have my close circle of friends and I thank God daily for their love and consistency. As the days neared I had no idea what was going to happen. I began to scramble in my own work. Not a prayer offered up just scrambling… until it all became too much and I broke down. I cried to God asking Him to please not leave me now. God had never left me. He was there all along waiting for me to ask. Literally at the final hours of July (deadline to be moved was August), a house rental was placed in my radar on a Tuesday, I had money but was $200 short without using our food and gas money. I went to the post office and found a random envelope. In it, a check for $200 from my friend. When I thanked him, he told me God had put the kids and I on his heart and so he wrote out the check to me. Exactly what I needed. Amen! I moved in Thursday. By that weekend, I had furniture being brought in that was given to me through another blessing. My biggest concern was that I had no beds for my children. I had nothing for them. I received a text message that Sunday from a dear friend and it said that I would have 5 brand new beds delivered on that next Tuesday. He and his wife just prayed about it and God told them to buy me beds for my children. FIVE BEDS PEOPLE! Amen! Then that following Tuesday my boss advised me that I would be receiving more hours which I practically ugly cried with joy over. Now I can totally survive and take care of my littles. I did none of this on my own. In addition to all of those blessing, have had countless amounts of people provide me household items that they felt led to give from towels to bedding to pancake mix. Yesterday, I had someone pay for my gas! I know, whoa.. amazing blessings- that whole be blessed wildly thing is no joke!
As I finish this up I am smiling because God didn’t just show up when I needed it most, but He showed out. He came to me, right where I was at, similar to doubting Thomas, and showed me just how much I can trust him. How much I can believe that I am His child that He loves and will protect me. Just like how Jesus came to where Thomas was at, he has also done that for me and will for you too.
Thank you all for letting me share my heart with you.
Choose love and be blessed wildly,
Wendy xoxoxo
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